Day Two: Mom, I'm home!

Day 2:

 - Distance = 630 mi

 - Elevation = 8800 ft

 - Song of the Day = "Brown Eyed Blues" by Ben Harper

I drove across western Kansas to my parent's house in Colorado (dropping off the fur kids... no way am I taking all of them on the road trip. Except for Iggy, the blind navigator - he's pretty chill but I doubt he'd be excited about hiking with me. What with all of those cacti and rocks to run into...)

Oddly enough, Western Kansas was kind of pretty. Maybe because the corn is still too short to block the view, but I was kind of digging the drive.

YAY!!!!!!!!!!

Eastern Colorado

I've always believed that once you cross the border into Colorado, you will suddenly be surrounded by snow-capped peaks and flower filled meadows (despite having lived there). In reality, eastern Colorado looks much the same as west Kansas since, amazingly enough, they are geographically related. You don't actually get your first glimpse of the mountains until 150 miles into the state (somewhere near Limon). I tried to get a picture of the far off mountains, but I was so feverish about the 75 mph speed limit that all off the pictures turned out a bit blurry. Because of the speed. So I pulled over and took this...

Now THAT'S what I'm talking about. I also stopped at the Circle K for some gas. The attendant, I'm fairly certain, was tweaking out of her mind. Strange things are afoot at the Circle K, indeed.

Almost there - entering Glenwood Canyon (the entertaining portion of the trip... I would NOT want to drive a semi through there!)

Getting closer...

Mom, I'm home!!!

Anyway, the roads were straight for the first part of the day, meaning that I didn't pay much attention to where I was going. It didn't matter - there are no rocks, ditches, mounds, or other crash-enabling impediments. If I ran off the road, I would gently glide to a stop in the middle of a corn field. So I spent time thinking about all sorts of nerdy things (and some non-nerdy things, but nerdy things tend to predominate). One of the great geological mysteries is why the Rocky Mountains formed so far inland. Generally speaking, mountain ranges form at the location where two plates collide, such as with the Cascades or the Himalayas. Yet, there does not appear to be a meeting of tectonic plates anywhere near the Rocky Mountains. I read that the best explanation is that there was a "weak area of crust" that caused the mountains to form farther inland, instead of along the California coast where the Pacific and North American plates meet. Imagine a bunch of geologists sitting around a conference table, trying to come up with the weakest possible explanation: "Well Jeff, while 'the giant goblins digging for gold and pushing up the ground explanation' is good, it's still a little too believable. What else do we have?" I can even imagine an older, balding, slightly portly academician wearing a pilled, green cardigan sweater and horn-rimmed classes circling a big area in red on the Proto-American continent and carefully labeling it with the script "Weak Crust Here". In fact, I can do that too...

The best part is that you can't prove it, or disprove it. It simply is. 

So tomorrow (or in a few days)... a discussion of the physiologic adaptations (acute and chronic) to altitude. And the fact that at 11,000 feet (Eisenhower Tunnel), I can only hold my breath for 17 seconds because I am not conditioned to altitude. I designed that little experiment while driving today.

Aren't you excited for me to head to Moab and stop posting this stupid stuff?

IT BEGINS!! Day One - The Westward 'Ho

Day One

 - Distance = 843 mi

 - Elevation = 1224 ft

 - Song of the Day = "City Livin'" by G. Love

Today was the longest day of driving (not counting the same thing on the way back)- 14+ hours, including numerous puke stops for the carsick dog. So instead of boring you with pointless stories (although I did meet an amusingly and alarmingly drunk elderly couple at a rest stop in Leavenworth, Kansas... they were driving from Montreal to Vegas and boy they didn't look a day over 93. They kept trying to give me bottles of water - do I look dehydrated or something?) In any case, I will let the pictures speak for themselves...

Yep, getting onto the highway.

Meh.

Double Meh. If you see dog puke all over the side of I-70 in Illinois, blame Sadie.

The blind cat is serving as the navigator (good thing the road atlas comes in Braille!). "Mom, make sure you get on 270 around St. Louis, or you'll wind up downtown setting a new world's record for dropping F-bombs!"

I usually manage to screw up and wind up in downtown St. Louis. I've seen the arch and would prefer to skip it...

You got on the right road... good job!

The bits on either end are okay. The middle, not so much.

Car-sick + acepromazine = better living through chemistry

That says "Welcome to Kansas. We are so sorry you have to drive across this state".

Kitteh no make good airbag

They gift-wrapped my toilet. Thanks, Ho-Jo's!

Ribbon cutting ceremony: "I now proclaim this toilet open for business!"

Coming tomorrow... Kansas to Colorado! I can't wait to drive across Kansas!!!!! (this would be sarcasm, BTW)

Frost erythema and other non-related crap

Lately I've taken to sleeping on the other side of the bed. That side I haven't slept on in almost 18 years. Seriously.

So after the obstinate moron/dog (Sadie) refused to move over on the bed YET AGAIN (hey, I have access to euthanasia solution, don't piss me off!) I merely walked over and got in on the other side. Let me just say that it was revolutionary! If you haven't tried it, you should. Right now. If you are lucky enough to have a bed partner, tell them to move. The mattress will feel firmer, the pillows softer, the blankets warmer, and you will sleep like Amy Winehouse after a tequila and valium bender. The cats were moderately to markedly confused, however, depending upon their level of vision (Iggy - moderate confusion but adaptable) and cortical processing (Hatch - marked confusion and pacing). Sadie merely licked her ass and farted. It was a banner night.

Anyway, I picked up several hiking books today at Barnes and Noble (thanks SCVECCS!), along with Desert Solitaire by Edward Abbey (shout out to you, Andy Bidwell!). I also dropped serious bank at Clintonville Outfitters for a set of waterproofs. For a second I thought, "Hey, I could get this crap at Sierra Trading Post for $39 a piece!!!!", but then I realized that appropriately waterproofed waterproof gear could be the difference between life and slow death by hypothermia, and I couldn't whip out my MasterCard fast enough. Interestingly enough, the states with the three highest death rates due to hypothermia are Montana, Alaska (duh!) and New Mexico (wha?). Usually alcohol plays some role - here I reference the Mythbusters episode where Jamie and Adam lock themselves in a cooler and drink scotch - so I am obviously at risk. What with that love for Franzia and all. And, hypothermia-related deaths usually occur in moderate climates where the victim is unprepared for sudden dampness or change in temperature.

If you research symptoms for hypothermia, the one listed first by WebMD is "low body temperature". Now I don't know about you, but I think I might have figured this one out on my own, and without packing a rectal thermometer in the first aid kit. (On the other hand, I now have a keychain compass... squeeee!)

To this end, I read an excellent review of hypothermia in Forensic Science, Medicine and Pathology 2010. Interestingly enough, "paradoxical undressing" - the phenomenon of removing one's clothing while freezing to death - is a common finding among victims of hypothermia. This often leads to the erroneous belief that the victim was assaulted prior to death. A rather disturbing description of frost erythema follows, which is a red to brownish discoloration over the extensor surfaces of joints. Commonly affected areas include the knees, elbows, face, and rarely the "male genitalia" (OUCH!!!).

Why go into this, you ask? Because I'm currently researching campgrounds in the Hoh Rainforest in Olympic National Park. Given the name, I assume it will be wet. And cold, especially in mid-May. And I want to be prepared.

Oh, and road trip starts in T-20 days. Check back soon!